A Few Misconceptions about Wallflowers

I see the world as a looking glass where each person represents a different view and perspective of it. Every person’s experiences and lessons in life is different. The only similarities are the running themes.

Most see the life of a wallflower to be emo (emotional), dark and dreary. Even in movies and television we are portrayed as lonely people living in misery and constantly unhappy in our lives, while secretly wishing to be popular and more outgoing like most kids. As such, this narrow-minded view and portrayal of melancholies sticks in people’s minds. In turn most wallflowers grow up in misery thinking something is wrong with their personae.

                That is how I grew up. I originally wasn’t a shy kid. But as a consequence of constantly changing schools, never lasting more than 2 or 3 years in one, that nature developed and soon became my staple. I guess it became my defense mechanism against making new friends since I knew I’d eventually leave and not see them again. For years I enjoyed being alone in my wallflower world. No worries, no troubles. And whenever I was lonely I always had television and movies to escape to. But these shelters also proved to be disheartening at times. For in the roles I could relate to, not only were wallflowers portrayed as outcasts, but their nature was seen to be a problem to the rest of society. Most of them were seen to be geeks or nerds who worshiped the popular crowd. Or they were seen to be the poster child for kids who commit suicide. This was also portrayed as only occurring with wallflowers because of their shy and quiet demeanor.

                These stories make us wallflowers feel inferior to those who are more outspoken and expressive. It makes us feel like there is something wrong with us and that God must’ve not loved us as much. That’s why He made us to yearn for the company of others, yet be unable to go out of our comfort zone and meet people. But the truth is, God loves us all. He made us different from others so we could experience His love in a different way, and know Him more as we retreat to our fortress of solitude. It often annoys me when people who aren’t wallflowers and hence have spent no time living in people’s shadows, give me social advice and assume how easy it is to meet and make new friends just because it is their daily bread. Such people never understand what it’s like to have no friends at all or what it’s like to lose friends. They don’t mind losing friends because they can make more than the number they lost in that same day.

                I hardly talked to people growing up. I always stayed in my corner, focusing on school and minding my own business. Yet that wasn’t enough for people. Several people, in fact everyone, that I met always asked what was wrong with me. They all find my quiet nature to be unnatural and most of them concocted sad and abusive stories as to the why I am the way I am. To this day people still do so. The only difference is, now I don’t cower and feel inferior to them like I used to. Now I’m proud to be a wallflower.  


 Picture: Courtesy of Dextdee Photography